July 08, 2005

worst analogies written in a high school essay

7) He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

6) The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just
like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

5) Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew
that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried
in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man"

4) Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed
lovers raced across the grassy field toward each
other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland
at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

3) John and Mary had never met. They were like two
hummingbirds who had also never met.

2) The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the
sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage
during the storm scene in a play.

1) The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red
Crayola crayon.